


I Love You (But I Hate Your Friends)

by anklebiterss



Category: Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy, Neon Trees, Panic! at the Disco, Paramore, Placebo, The Academy Is..., Weezer (Band), fun.
Genre: F/F, F/M, Genderfluid Character, M/M, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, Yikes, bo is AGGRESSIVELY PANSEXUAL, drugs eventually, homophobia and transphobia, i wanna die, major character death i think, rivers is always shitfaced, teacher/student relationship at some point kinda, this is a mess, unintentional homophobia and transphobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-25 11:49:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7531636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anklebiterss/pseuds/anklebiterss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Looks can be deceiving.</p><p>[collab with @nxncybxy on wattpad)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Girls and Boys in School

“Spencer can you move these boxes for  _ goodness’ sake Spencer _ .” I groaned, leaning over to lift a few stacks of boxes. I was able to feel beads of sweat on my face and I cringed, knowing how disgusting it might look. 

 

The neighborhood I was moving into was far stranger than my past home life, not many people here had religious showings outside of their house, and my parents’ Jesus statue outdid anyone who had anything out. I could've sworn I saw a  _ gay pride flag _  a few houses down, that was something that nobody would've even / _ considered _ / putting out in our old neighborhood.

 

The new neighborhood was a reluctant move, but my parents found out that someone sinful had moved in down the road, and that meant we had to move. I hated moving, and luckily for me we didn't have enough money to move again after this time.

 

“Spencer!” I sighed and hauled a few more boxes into the other room before collapsing back on the new couch. 

 

“Spencer, you need to-” My mother’s complaining was cut off by the doorbell ringing throughout the house and I stood up with a sigh. “I'll get it!” I called in her direction, making my way to the front door. When I opened the door, I was greeted by two boys.

 

“Hi!” 

 

I stared at them blankly. 

 

The first boy had white hair that could've almost been bleach blonde but was too light, and he was relatively tan. He was suited in bright blue and green clothes that made it so I had to squint to look at him. The second boy was short and had chin length black hair but the roots were showing up a light brown. He wore a flannel shirt, a black skirt and boots, and my eyes trained on the skirt before looking back up. He didn’t look me straight in the eye at first but looked at the taller boy instead as he began to talk.

 

“I’m Tyler, how are you? We saw you moving in and came to meet you.” I smiled politely as he carried on talking, not stopping to let me speak. The short boy smiled at the ground and began to imitate the other’s hand gestures and moved his mouth, knowing exactly what the other was going to say. They were scarily in synch. 

 

“This is Bri.” He pronounced Bri like Br _ eye _  and I only stared at him as he tapped the shorter on the shoulder and faced me again. “What's your name? Who  _ are you? _ ” 

 

I stuttered for a second before mumbling a quiet “Spencer.” 

 

Tyler grinned and clasped his hands together. “Alright, well-” He peered over my shoulder and then looked back at me. “Looks like you're unpacking. I'll let you get to that, but yeah!” He giggled. “Bri and I just live a few houses over, they're my next-door neighbor, and I'm the one with the gay pride flag in the window.” 

 

My jaw dropped. Oh. 

 

“You're  _ gay? _ ” I spluttered. Tyler shrugged. “Polysexual. Doesn't matter. I take it you're homophobic?” I bit down on my lip and stepped out of the door, latching it behind me. “Not specifically, no, I just don't  _ understand.. _ .” Bri nudged Tyler and pointed at something in the yard, and Tyler nodded. “Ah. I see. Conservative Christian asshole parents?”

 

“Well, I- ” I started talking before I was hushed by Tyler as he pressed a finger to my lips and smiled.

 

“This is  _ that _  kind of neighbourhood for them then, I’m guessing you’ll be packing up soon again.” He sighed and turned to leave down the garden path, nodding at the Jesus statue and the younger kid ran to catch up with him, planting a kiss on his cheek after reaching out and grabbing Tyler’s hand. I swallowed thickly and let them leave, turning to go inside to move boxes yet again.

 

-

 

By the next morning, I had stayed up all night unpacking my boxes, and still had school the next day. So I reluctantly changed into suitable clothes and brushed my hair, yawning as I entered the kitchen.

 

“Morning.” My mother turned to face me with a slight glare in her eyes and I coughed. “Good morning, Mother.” I rephrased. She made a noise in approval and went back to making her coffee as I grabbed an apple from the fridge. “Bye, Mother.” She waited until I was almost out the door before calling over her shoulder. 

 

“Bye, Spencer!”

 

I shut the door behind me and trudged along the road towards school.

 

The beginning of the day, well, the first half hour or so went by in a blur. I got my schedule, went to homeroom, introduced myself. All the usual. But towards the end of homeroom, I heard whispers across the room and turned to face where they were coming from.

 

“Isn't that the guy…” I blinked slowly, trying to figure out who was whispering about me.

 

“C’mon, I'm pretty sure he saw us anyways-” 

 

“Dude are you kidding me he’s right there.” A familiar voice spoke up and I turned around to see Tyler from yesterday frowning at a few kids sat in the back, he weaved his way between the desks to where I was sitting. Bri following behind him, his head down, still not making eye contact with me. 

 

“Spencer, right?” Tyler leaned against my desk and I nodded. “Yeah. Tyler?” He nodded, and I gestured to the boy behind him. “Bri. Right?” Bri shifted his weight, and Tyler glanced to his wrist momentarily, which was decorated with a set of pink and purple bracelets. “Bri, actually.” He said it like Br _ ee _  this time and I furrowed my eyebrows. “But didn't you-” He covered my mouth. “We can explain that later.” Bri nodded and looked up at me through his hair. I pushed Tyler’s hand away from my mouth. “Does he ever talk?” Tyler gritted his teeth for a moment but went back to smiling. “ _ She _  does. Once you get to know her~!” I widened my eyes slightly. “But-” He cut me off with loud laughter. “You need to learn, buddy.”

 

I nodded, unsure of how to respond, and Tyler slapped my back lightly. “Listen. You should sit with us and our friends at lunch. We can educate you. You obviously need it. Right, Bri?” Bri nodded, still not speaking.

 

“I’m guessing you’ve never been to a public school before?” The taller smiled and I shook my head at him, my cheeks going red.

 

“Well then you should stick with us, this place is pretty scary if you aren’t used to somewhere like here. I’m pretty sure three girls got pregnant last year and most of the others are on some sort of fucking drug.” nodded. “Well, I don't necessarily want a part in that sin.” Bri snorted and Tyler rolled his eyes. “Alright, Jesus. Sure thing.” I gaped at him and opened my mouth to respond but he and Bri were already back at their desks. 

 

A woman walked through the door, I assumed she was our teacher as she left a pile of books on her desk.

 

“Right... English... right.” She mumbled to herself, tucking her hair behind her ears. “Um… poetry okay.” 

 

She continued to explain our assignment for the lesson, stumbling over her words. I couldn't help but smile at her awkwardness before turning my head down to work on my assignment. I could hear Tyler behind me, mumbling about things, and the scribble of a pencil, and when I turned to look he was telling Bri certain things to write down. Bri would occasionally roll his eyes before doing so, but they seemed like a good team.

 

By the time I finished doing my assignment, there was only a minute left in class. The teacher (Ms. Williams, I learned her name was) collected all the papers and mumbled a quiet “Welcome to the school…” As she passed my desk. I smiled politely up at her and began to pack my things.

 

The first half of the day went by in a blur, I had all my academic classes in the morning, and lunch came. I exited the science classroom and before I could do anything else, someone had an arm linked through mine.

 

Tyler.

 

He had a grin plastered on his face and Bri trailing behind him as he pulled me towards the cafeteria.

 

“Um, hi?” Tyler didn't respond, but Bri waved in my direction as the two tugged me towards the back of the lunchroom to a table full of people.

 

“No way dude you have two people to back you up that isn't fair!” A boy with sinful bangs and more eyeliner than I had seen in my entire life shouted at another boy, this one in suspenders and skinny jeans. The second boy made a ‘hmph’ noise and the first scowled at him.

 

Tyler pulled me to the end of the table, but nobody had noticed that either of us had sat down. He pushed me into the seat across from him and then gently pulled Bri against his side.

 

A girl with a flower crown and pastel hoodie snorted at the exchange, her hands in her pockets, and a boy with a leather jacket had his arm wrapped over her shoulders. Tyler coughed and everyone stopped talking.

 

“Right, so this is Spencer, he’s new here I guess. He lives down the road from Bri and I and his family are all Jesus lovers so we have to educate him.” Bri covered his mouth and started laughing quietly and the girl in the flower crown nudged him. I glanced around the group, unsure of what to say before pointing at the emo kid.

 

“His hair is sinful.”

 

“I’m sorry, Spencer, but as you can see, all of Pete’s hairstyles are sinful and will probably continue to sin until we can drag him into a barbers.” A short, blonde haired kid spoke up over the murmur.

 

“Guys we should go do pronouns outside it’s too hot in here I swear to god.” Tyler then looked at me, probably presuming I hadn’t heard him use God in vain. I swallowed my words before I could say anything that would make him stop talking to me.

 

Most of the group turned to leave through the doors at the back if the cafeteria, Tyler walking at the front, Bri once again running after him and grabbing his hand. 

 

The girl in the flower crown and her boyfriend sat down first, the girl lying on the boy’s lap with a smile. She picked up a daisy from amongst the grass and placed it on his head. He smiled, a blush crawling up his face. 

 

Next, the sinful emo sat down, the blonde sitting next to him. The emo boy nudged the shorter and pointed to someone inside, causing the blonde to go a bright shade of red.

 

Bri and Tyler sat down, Tyler with his arm wrapped around Bri’s waist, and then the rest of the group sat, the boy in suspenders sitting next to a boy with hipster glasses, another laying over both of their legs. 

 

I glanced around the group, but before I could observe what more people looked like, Tyler clapped his hands together loudly. 

 

“Right pronoun time.” He smiled at me and Pete whispered “Take me to snurch.” before he shuffled over to us on his hands. I raised an eyebrow and Tyler glanced at me. “Pronouns. You can start.” The group stared at me and I blinked slowly. “What does that mean?” Bri faked horror and gasped while the group exchanged nervous glances. “This is gonna be harder than I thought…” Tyler mumbled. 

 

The girl with the flower crown eventually spoke up. “So, since you don't know what pronouns are, I'm gonna assume that you go by he and him, right?” Tyler nodded. “Fair assumption, yeah.” I raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?” The girl shrugged. “So like, when someone's talking about you, they'd say something like, say, ‘This is Spencer, he's Christian’ or something like that.” I bit down on my lip. “As opposed to…” The boy laying across the other two piped up this time. “As opposed to saying she, or they.” My eyebrows shot up. “They?” The emo kid nodded. “Yeah, they. Like they put on their hat.” This was a lot of information at once. “Isn't that for more than one person.” Bri put his head in his hands and the punk boy scoffed. “Wow, you're clueless. No, it can be singular. If someone isn't a boy or a girl.” I nodded, it still didn’t make sense.

 

“But...but people can’t not be a boy or a girl.” I glanced around the group in my confusion. The girl groaned and rolled over on her boyfriend’s lap, the boy across from her smiled to himself and mumbled “Ryan you absolute callypygian.” 

 

“Callypygian,” One of the boys he was lying on clicked his fingers at the other next to him. “Adjective.”

 

“One who has, beautiful buttocks.”

 

The punk boy scowled. “Should I be concerned that you’re trying to steal my boyfriend?” 

 

“Maybe.” 

 

One of the boys, the one in suspenders smiled and waved his hand dismissively. “Bren, we all know Ryan isn’t gonna leave you dude. Anyway, we’re way out of his league.” Another with glasses and dark hair snorted and buried his face in his hands. 

 

“Brendon stop looking at me like that you look like a smout.”

 

“Smout,”

 

“Noun.”

 

“A small, unimportant, Scottish person.” Brendon’s (?) scowl deepened. “I’m not even Scottish.”

 

“Bri is. Kinda.” Tyler pointed at his boyfriend who had gone over to the other side of the group and attempted to braid the emo boy’s hideous fringe and rectify his eyeliner.  “Um, right I’ll start then.” Tyler started to introduce himself, “I’m Tyler, I’m a boy so he and him, and I like pretty much anyone but not  _ everyone I guess I mean I’m poly but, _ ” Bri balanced on his hands and moved towards Tyler again, leaning on the taller boy’s shoulder. “Ry?” He asked the girl in the flower crown.

 

“Yeah I’m Ryan I like people I don’t know I’m a boy.”

 

I couldn’t help the next thing I said, which I immediately regretted. “You’re not a  _ boy _ -" I cut myself off.

 

“What the fuck dude?” Brendon pulled Ryan into him, hiding her face from me, she looked like she was shaking from where I was sat. Tyler frowned at me and took Bri’s hand in his own, refusing to look at me.

 

I glanced around the group and sighed. “Listen, I-” My words stopped short. “I don’t get it. I don’t. At all. But like…” I covered my face.  _ Wow, way to go, there goes your chance of making friends, good going self. _

 

I took my hands from my face and bit my lip. “Can.. Um… Can I try again?” 

 

But that was when the bell rang from inside the cafeteria, Tyler groaned and pulled himself and Bri up from the floor while Brendon shot me a glare and put his arm around Ryan’s waist. 

 

Ryan’s eyes were red and puffy, and she- no-  _ he _  dammit- glanced at me and sniffled softly. I swallowed a lump in my throat. I was  _ such _  an asshole.

 

As the group dispersed off to their different lessons, Tyler called after them down the hallway “We’re going to the park on the long way home, meet us there!” Before we turned into art class. Bri sat at the back of the class by himself while Tyler stopped just in front of the teacher’s desk. 

 

“Miss Orzechowski?” He coughed into his elbow and the teacher looked up from her drawing. “Yeah?” She raised her eyebrow, and Tyler shifted his weight. “Um, we have a new kid… This is Spencer.” He still wouldn’t look at me as he walked past to join Bri at the back of the room. She smiled and arranged her canvases that sat on her desk and stood up, brushing off her jeans. 

“Okay guys, settle down.” Miss Orzechowski grinned as the voices died down, “I have something to tell you.” 

 

“We already  _ know _  about the new kid, Miss.” A kid said from the back, I didn’t turn around but my cheeks flushed scarlet. 

 

“No no no, It’s more important than that.”

 

“You’re pregnant?” Tyler asked.

 

“No, it is Wednesday my dudes.”

 

Bri shot his hands up in the air and sighed before covering his ears, I was confused before I heard Tyler scream extremely loudly.

 

“God damn it Tyler every fucking Wednesday.”

 

Miss Orzechowski decided to get on with the lesson after wheezing because she was laughing so hard at Tyler. At one point she sent me to the back of the room to get paints, I ended up bumping into Bri on the way, who was writing furiously on a piece of torn paper. I leant over to try and see what he was writing, but he turned away from me and carried on scribbling down words. Tyler smiled half-heartedly and let his hand rest on Bri’s waist. Bri mumbled something under his breath and Tyler started to drum his fingers on the desk almost absent mindedly. 

 

I stared at Bri for a while, looking at what he was wearing, he was sat behind his desk in a pair of high waisted shorts like the day he and Tyler came to my house, he wore a crop top which left his stomach pretty exposed and I mean, I wasn’t gay. I wasn’t gay but  _ wow _  his stomach and hips were just so  _ nice _ . He tapped his feet on the table leg and I looked down to see he’d kicked his shoes off already. A slip of gold card glinted from inside his sneakers in the sunlight. I bit my lip. Wait.

 

_ He _ .

 

Was that right?

 

I mean he looked pretty feminine to be a guy, who wore shorts that  _ short _ ? You could see his ass for goodness’ sake. 

 

I wasn’t gay.

 

Tyler got up from his chair as I was staring at Bri, he tugged on Bri’s shirt and pulled my arm.

“I’m bored, we’re skipping to meet Bo.” Bri yelped and Tyler mumbled, dragging him behind him. 

Bri picked his shoes up and they walked out of the classroom while Miss Orzechowski’s back was turned, I followed quietly behind them.

 

We walked down the deserted corridor, the faint sound of music could be heard coming from upstairs, Tyler stopped, putting his arm out to stop us. “It’s okay he’s up there don’t worry.” He sighed after a few seconds of silence. Grabbing our shoulders, Tyler steered us towards what must have been the music department. He opened a heavy door into a practice room, the music now all around us. A lanky kid was sat at a piano, singing with a smile on his face. He stopped playing and started speaking, still not having noticed us.

 

“I want you like Anne Frank never wanted anyone to read her fucking diary because a diary is a collection of secret things that nobody else reads and that’s the whole point of a diary as millions of people have breached this little girl’s privacy after she was chased by Nazis -.” The blonde boy looked up from his piano and hid his face in his hands. “Kick her while she’s down.” Tyler grinned and leant on the piano.

 

“Fuck off Ty.” 

 

“We’re going to the park are you coming? Bri put your fucking shoes on.” Bri narrowed his eyes, sticking a bare foot at Tyler’s face, and the blonde chuckled, his face still hidden in his hands. After a minute, he took his hands down. “Why are you guys here, dammit?” Tyler stared at him. “I literally just said we were going to the park dipshit.”

 

“Aye Bo check out sick through student support, Bri can you talk for once and go say you have a dentist appointment. I’ll go round the back round the bike sheds. Meet us outside. Got it?”

Tyler proceeded to run down the hallway, I was about to shout after him before he rounded the corner and disappeared.

 

“Fuck.” I muttered, pulling my bag higher on my back and following him.

 

We managed to gather at the front gates, Tyler taking the lead and strolling down the street, the rest of us trailing behind him. 

 

It was a good day to choose to skip, given it was my first day at the school, thank goodness I’d worn shorts. Bo looked like he was about to die in his jeans and hoodie.

Bri clung on to Tyler’s arm and attempted to keep up with him. Their height difference was almost comical at this point, Tyler was a normal height, but Bri was tiny compared to him. The older had a normal body shape, well proportioned and all that jazz, and then there was Bri, who looked like an eight year old girl but slightly taller at this point. Next to them you had Bo, who was like a giant compared to the rest of us. He just seemed to stride along next to them.

 

Brendon was stood on the street corner, leaning against a fence. The flower crown girl, Ryan, was sat by his feet on her phone, tapping animatedly, a guitar case on her back. 

Brendon turned towards us and rolled his eyes, “What took you so fucking long?”

“I had to collect a fucking nerd.” Tyler shouted back, Bo raising his hand to his heart, his facial expression changing. “Y-You hurt me.” Bo’s eyes filled with tears, Tyler groaned and Bri shook his head. “Wh-Why would you s-say that, Tyler? I t-thought we were  _ friends _ .” Bo pulled his sleeves over his hands and put them against his mouth, beginning to hiccup, the tears spilling down his cheeks.

 

“Uh, dude. Are you okay?” I stumbled over my words as I began to grow more worried over him crying, and Brendon sighed loudly. “Cut the shit, Burnham.”

 

Bo just started crying louder at this point, sniffing and covering his eyes with his sleeves.

I stood next to him and patted his shoulder softly while he sobbed, Brendon, Tyler and Bri walking into the park, Ryan following behind. 

 

Bri sat down on the grass next to the sandboxes, he pulled Tyler down next to him by his sleeve, the taller boy collapsing next to Bri. I patted Bo’s back, trying to get him to stop crying.

“C’mon dude it isn’t that bad, Tyler was only kidding-”

 

“Can I be hashtag edgy and smoke with Bri?” Bo’s head shot up and he ran over to the sandbox, he seemed fine, not at all as if he’d just been crying, but his face was still bright red. 

 

“Fuck you, Burnham.” I think Bri mumbled as he lit a cigarette in his cupped hands, it was the first thing I’d heard him say. Nice introduction.

 

Bo pulled one from the gold packet (which I was pretty sure was the one hidden in Bri’s shoe in art class earlier) and I stared at him. “W-weren’t you just, like, sobbing?” The boy in suspenders waved a hand dismissively, motioning for the boy in hipster glasses to sit next to the other boy so he could lay across their laps. The third boy, who didn’t really have something for me to define him by, draped his arms over the suspender guy’s legs.

 

“What’s the point of this one, Ty?” Tyler shrugged. “We need to all introduce ourselves, and get Spencer here to like… Understand. Yeah,  he was an ass-” He glared at me and I shrunk back. “But he’s gonna try. Right?” I nodded quickly. “Of course! Sorry.” 

 

Bo mumbled something under his breath and the girl- No,  _ Ryan _  raised  _ his _  eyebrow. “What’s that, Bo?” She- He moved towards Brendon and kept an eye on Bo, who shrugged. “The people in my life are like… Grains of sand.” He grabbed a handful of sand and let it fall through his fingers. “Cause they stick together- Often near my butthole.” Tyler snorted and Bri let out a quiet laugh, causing Bo’s eyes to light up. “My new material is funny?” Ryan sighed and laughed quietly. “Yes, Bo. It is. Kinda.” 

 

Bo coughed and picked a blade of grass, setting it in the sand. “The people in my life are like blades of grass. How?” He glanced around. “‘Cause they’re all so grounded, but at least grass stays away from my butthole.” Brendon groaned. “Jesus, Bo.” Bo scrunched up his face. “Eat a dick.” Tyler raised a hand. “I’d be interested in that. Bri?” Bri wiggled his eyebrows, and after a moment of silence Tyler clasped his hands together, he winked at Bri and bit his lip. 

 

“Right lads, pronouns.” He clicked his fingers at Ryan.

“Right,” S- He shot me a glare before continuing, “I’m Ryan, I like Brendon although they’re a rat and I go by he/him thanks.” He nudged the kid in the leather jacket next to him and the punk began to talk.

 

“Brendon, I’m genderfluid and I like the greasy flower crown kid.” I looked at Tyler for an explanation, who seemed to pick up on my confusion.

 

“Oh, Spencer. That means Brendon’s gender changes sometimes, but you’re they right?” Tyler turned to Brendon who nodded lazily and flopped on the grass next to Ryan.

 

“So that means Brendon goes by they and them. Clear?”

 

I nodded my head, keeping my mouth shut. I wasn’t gonna mess up again. 

 

“Ay poly crew?” The boy in suspenders waved his hand at Tyler and Bri.

“Yeah I like these nerds. We’re all dudes. No homo though.” The boy in glasses leant down and kissed Suspender’s cheek. “No homo.”

“Jack,” Suspenders pointed at the boy in glasses and then at the kinda boring looking one, “Andrew. Oh yeah I’m Nate.”

 

“I’m Bo. I’m  _ AGGRESSIVELY PANSEXUAL. _ ” 

 

“Pete, or you can call me Pweezy because I’m hashtag relatable.” 

 

“And I’m hashtag deep.”

 

“Shut up Bo.”

 

“I’m the counterpart demiboy Patrick. Boys are hot but y’know when I say boys I mean Joe.” 

 

Tyler looked at Bri next to him. The shorter sat quietly and smiled weakly when he saw me staring. 

 

The blonde pushed him slightly, snapping Bri into reality again.

“I’m Bri. I like skirts and boys. I do the bracelet thingy.” His face fell slightly and he looked over to Tyler who handed him two coloured bracelets, he picked up the blue and shook his head.

“Yeah sorry about that, I’m Brian. I still like skirts and boys though.” He tapped the ash from the end of his cigarette and exhaled slowly, leaning back and letting his hoodie slip from his shoulders. Tyler nodded and put his hands behind him, leaning back. “That’s everyone?” He glanced around. “Oh, right. J isn’t here today.”

 

“Jay?” I questioned as Tyler put his arm around Brian. 

“Yeah, she wasn’t in today. She’s cool you’ll like her.” Brendon raised an eyebrow. “Will he?” Tyler nodded. “He will.” 

 

There was an awkward silence, and then Brian spoke up. 

 

“Watashi wa watashi no o shiri ni utau tame ni biyonsetaidesu.” 

 

Nobody spoke again for a few seconds.

  
“Wrong language sorry.” 


	2. Make a Move

[tw: transphobic slurs, uncensored + very detailed mentions of scratching + torture at one point]

 

I walked home with Tyler and Bri, they turned off at their gate and Bri started fumbling with the keys and mumbling, “Tyler knulla mig.” 

 

“Jesus Christ okay that was a bit forward.”

 

I’m pretty sure they started making out before they actually got inside, I watched them collapse through the door and then walked on. 

 

“Spencer! Good day?” My Father greeted me as I came through the door, he was still stood in his suit, “That’s great, I’m off again, make dinner for yourself won’t you darling? Goodbye son.”

He closed the door behind him before I had the chance to speak. Nice.

 

I wandered into the kitchen, shrugging my bag from my shoulders onto the kitchen bench. I was pulling out pasta from the cupboard when my Mother rushed into the kitchen, I turned around, straightening my shoulders and smiling at her.

 

“Afternoon Spencer. Good day at school?” She sat at the table, watching me start to cook at the counter.

 

“Oh yes, I had a lovely day Mother.”

 

“Any friends? It’s time you made some.”

 

“Yes, I made friends with the boys over the road, and-” I paused at my phone buzzing. “One moment…” I grabbed my phone from my back pocket.

 

_ -1 new message _

Unknown Number: 

-aye cockshit its ur fave aggressive pan kid bo fo sho

 

I let out a quiet chuckle and then bit my lip, responding quickly.

 

_ How did you get my number? _

 

I looked back up to my Mother, who was staring at me impatiently. “Spencer, you know not to check your phone when you’re speaking with someone.” I nodded slightly. “Yes ma’am, I’m sorry. It’s just- Bo texted me, and-”

 

“Who’s Bo? Is he your friend?”

 

“Yes ma’am, one of a few.”

 

_ -1 new message _

Unknown number: 

-I know things you fucktrumpet

_ Read. 4:37 _

 

“Spencer!” I looked up from my phone screen to my Mother. “Tell me about your  _ friends _ .”

 

“Well, Bo is very tall, he plays piano and he sings a lot. He’s pretty funny too.”

 

“What about those boys over the road?”

 

“Oh, their names are Brian and Tyler. They’re nice I guess. Bri doesn’t really talk much unless he’s speaking another language, it’s okay though because Tyler talks enough for both of them.” 

And with that, she nodded and got up to leave, stopping at the doorway she turned around again.

 

“You should invite Bo over for dinner tomorrow, he seems nice.”

 

Shit.

 

_ -1 new message _

-I know you read this are you gonna answer me or not u know i could probably pick u up and throw you off mount everest im like ten skyscrapers tall

 

_ YOU: My Mom wants you to come over for dinner tomorrow are you good at social gatherings and catholics _

_ -Also you used ‘you’ and ‘u’ in the same sentence _

 

_ -3 new messages _

-Fuck you Spencesnob i do what i want yhis is ‘murica land of the free if youre rich and white like me

-that was satire if you couldnt see

-also yes i can do the jesus

 

_ YOU: nice _

_ Read. 4:50pm. _

 

*

 

“Right. English. Poems. Nice.” Miss Williams shuffled the papers littering her desk again, she nudged her glasses up her nose and looked across the classroom. “Right. Um, Pete. Would you like to read your poem first?”

 

Pete stood up, letting his fringe cover his eyes as he walked to the front of the classroom. He coughed and straightened his back.

 

“From day one I talked about getting out, but not forgetting about how all my worst fears are letting out. She said, “Why put a new address on the same old loneliness?” When breathing just passes the time, until we all just get old and die. Now talking’s just a waste of breath, and living’s just a waste of death, and  _ why _  put a new address on the same old loneliness? And this is you and me, and me and you, until we’ve got nothing left.”

 

Miss Williams started clapping and smiling, “That was very… Nice, Pete.”

 

Pete scowled at her. “I’m not like other boys. Let me be edgy. It’s not nice.”

 

“Okay, uh, Brian?”

 

“It’s Bri.” Tyler interjected after glancing at the pink bracelets.

 

“Right, Bri, would you read your poem for us?”

 

Bri walked to the front, slouching over. Their -Her cheeks were red and her bottom lip was red from biting it.

 

“C'est le malaise du moment   
L'épidémie qui s'étend   
La fête est finie on descend   
Les pensées qui glacent la raison   
Paupières baissées, visage gris   
Surgissent les fantomes de notre lit   
On ouvre le loquet de la grille   
Du taudit qu'on appelle maison.”

 

Miss Williams watched Bri return to her seat, slightly stunned. She shook her head slightly.

 

“Bri, what did that mean?”

 

“It was about drag queens and exploring your sexuality, Miss.” 

 

“Lovely.” She pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed, “Bo.”

 

“Miss?” Bo raised his hand.

 

“Yes Bo?”

 

“Instead of writing one poem I wrote a few, is that okay?”

 

“Yes, Bo. That’s fine.” Honestly I felt quite bad for her, she had her head in her hands, leaning on her desk. She was a young teacher, I’d only been here for one day and this year was hopeless.

 

“I want to kiss you all day. I want to start at dawn. I want our mouths to dry out by breakfast. I want our jaws to start cramping by noon. I want us to question our decision to kiss all day by hour five. I want to have sex really quickly then seriously stop all this kissing bullshit because you need your personal space, apparently.”

 

The class was silent, the only sound was coming from Miss, who was breathing heavily into her hands.

 

“Hell waits in a doctor’s office, tapping his shoe against a loose strip of carpet, holding a magazine in front of his face, trying to look professional, whilst eyeing the children’s toys.”

 

“I’m a gangly kid, one of those drunk marionettes, one of those baby giraffes with inner ear syndrome. A flailing stork in high winds. A stilted freak. I am an easel- not symbolically -structurally. I attempt to dance and become a tornado of elbow.”

 

Nobody spoke, thirty eyes trained on Bo at the front, some people’s faces seemed confused. Others were giggling silently. 

 

“ Mid-October, with leaves spilled like colored pencil shavings- The streets dicing our town into neat, unfair portions- 

and me… Eatin’ that pussy baby.” Bo bit his lip and winked at Bri before returning to his seat.

When Miss Williams looked up, she looked completely done with Bo, who was looking proud of himself at the back.

Tyler was called up.

“There was a point of no return, and I never looked back ‘til I was holding your hand. I was socially absurd, but who cares. I’ve been shaky with withdrawals. I’m a junkie loser, I never would choose to live the way I do. But I do. I’ll be your angel, I’ll be your best friend. Take me to New York, take me to heaven. He’s a teen, a teenager in love. What a tragic attraction, what’s the point of romance? I’m a fool with a curse and a crush. What a magic distraction, what’s the point of romance? I never wanted to be a teenager in love.”

 

He returned to his seat, not looking up from the floor.

 

“Very… Sweet… Tyler.”

 

With the amount of people reading poems in class, I can’t say I was actually paying attention. I caught a few words of Ryan’s poem, and a guy with long-ish brown hair read one that sounded interesting, but all in all nothing specific that caught my ear.

 

The bell rang and miss didn’t look up from her desk as we grabbed our bags and rushed through the door. Tyler held onto my sleeve and pulled Bri and I up to the science block. Pete followed behind with Joe, Patrick and the guy from earlier. 

 

“Tranny!” Somebody from behind called. Tyler stopped and turned round first.

 

“Excuse me?” He smiled at a short kid with pale blue eyes. 

 

“You what, mate?” Bri spoke properly for the first time today. “You bare piff.” 

 

“It’s a British thing, I think.” Bo interjected, happy to contribute with his slang knowledge.

 

“Fuck off, Burnham.” Bo looked shocked, 

“I’ll have you know that last year I won the egg and spoon contest at the local elementary school, that’s four years running.” He poked the short kid in the chest before backing off into the classroom on the left. Nobody spoke for a second.

 

“WRONG CLASSROOM I AM SO SORRY MISS WINTERS I HAD NO IDEA YOU HAD A THING FOR SCIENCE TEACHERS OH GOD I’D BETTER BE GOING.”

 

The kid narrowed his eyes, running a hand through his hair that stuck up so far he might as well have been a troll. “Right, now that he’s gone.” He cracked his knuckles and let his eyes widen with a glint of pride in them. He opened his mouth to speak, but Tyler stepped forwards. 

 

“I’ll fuck you up, try me, bitch.”

 

“Oh, you wanna fight?” The kid turned his gaze to Tyler, who held his hands up. “I’m a pacifist.”

 

“You are, are you?”

 

“Yeah. I’m’a pacifist through your face!”

 

Tyler lunged forwards, his fist colliding with the kid’s cheek, and his head twisted back. He brought a hand to his cheek. “Mother _ fucker!” _

 

Just as the fight was beginning to escalate, the guy from English class walked through the growing crowd. 

“Is this about me?” He blew a bubble in his gum and tilted his head. Tyler turned round, his face red.

“I was… Defending… You.” He panted.

The guy waved his hand to try and dismiss the crowd. It didn’t work.

 

Bo left the classroom with who I assumed was the teacher, they were holding popcorn. Great.

“I went to England once,” The teacher started, Bo nodding his head and stuffing a fist of popcorn into his pocket. “Lovely place. But do you know what’s even better than a cliché bitch fight in the hallway? Posh people fighting.”

Bo’s eyes widened, he seemed invested in this story already.

“Right so I was at a bar - they call it a pub there. And two posh guys started fighting. And I’m not kidding I watch one of their friends stand up at the other end of the bar and shout in the fucking poshest most stereotypically British voice ever; ‘GO  _ ON _ MONTY! HE HAS DISHONOURED YOU!” Bo choked on a piece of popcorn, his face contorted. Tyler threw another punch. 

 

“FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT  _ FIGHT _ .” The teacher started chanting as Bo continued to choke. 

 

“Really, Mister?” Someone spoke up, I wasn’t sure who, I was too busy focusing on the fight at hand. 

 

The kid slapped Tyler across the face, and Tyler immediately retaliated with a punch to the eye.

 

“Shut the fuck up, Nash Grape.” Tyler screamed. Bri tapped him on the shoulder, he waved him away.

“Not now, Bri! Grape wants to talk!”

“Babe, babe. Trash Grier.” 

“Bri! I said be quiet!” 

Bri sighed and elbowed his way into the circle of people, Tyler and Nash stood at opposing sides, shouting insults at each other.

“Tranny!”

“COCKSPLAT.”

“Faggot.”

“FUCKTRUMPET.”

_ “Guys!”  _

Bri’s expression was calm

“He-She.”

“HEY NASH IS YOUR COCK THE SAME ORANGE AS YOUR FAKE TAN?”

He made his way into the middle of the circle. Standing so he could look at both of them.

“Guys, what is your English word for the horses that spin around to funny music?”

Nash spat on the ground, 

“Go back to your own country, you filthy immigrant. I was born here!”

Bri smirked, “Torcedura sangre es mi mierda y no me importa.”

Nash and his friends darkened their expressions. Bri continued, he cracked his knuckles.

“Wer hat nicht heimlich einen papa knick.”

Nash bit his lip, two of his friends had left.

 

“Je suis quatre vingt dix neuf pour cent sûr que les dinosaures étaient rose et brillant.”

 

“W-What is he saying?” He stammered, looking at the dispersing circle. Bri’s face lit up slightly.

“I’m talking to myself, that’s all.”

“A-About what?” 

“How nice it would be to break every single bone in your body. I’m talking about torture first, pulling your finger nails out first. Or we could start with every hair on your measly little body, darling. I’m thinking about torture like racking my nails down every inch of your skin, lovely lemon juice seeping into each cut. How about… Waterboarding? Or possibly just straight up breaking every possible inch of bone inside you. It wouldn’t be too hard, sweetie.” He made his hands into claws for a second before laughing and stepping backwards. Nash’s face went pale. He tripped on his way out. 

“Nash?” Bri said quietly, just loud enough for Nash to hear him. The shorter kid walked back up, staring at the floor. Bri ran his tongue over his lower lip before whispering into his ear, “Ehrlich gesagt brot ist wirklich verdammt sexy.” 

Nash left the corridor with the last of the crowd. 

 

“What  _ are _ those horses that spin around to funny music?” 

 

Bo had finally stopped choking, and he thought for a moment before speaking up. 

 

“Cabaret? Bestiality cabaret?”

 

There was an awkward silence before Tyler spoke quietly.

  
“Carousel. It’s a Carousel.”


End file.
